Superb Owls

“Mankind is pretty arrogant, when you think about it. The accepted assumption is that we built up civlization on our own, that every advancement in technology was by our own hands. But in some aspect it is understandable for us to be that way, since the superb owls are almost extinct now and are almost completely forgotten.”

“You know, when you look at a normal owl, you can already tell that something is off. They hold a mannerism of … ‘understanding’ that other birds don’t show, they know that observation is one of the most powerful things you can do. Then you have their most dangerous species, the superb owl. Turns out that owls have the best scaling of mental capacity of any animal, so when you get one that stands at 15 meters tall, it’s the smartest creature to occurr in nature. Humans don’t even remotely compare.”

“The only reason we are where we are right now is because those first superb owls chose us to be their servants, giving us the knowledge and means to carry out their commands to build cities and carve mountains. But they were also cruel, feeding on humans at random and organizing blood sports for their own entertainment. There was little illusion that humanity was their captive.”

“But we got our lucky break because of their one weakness. The superb owl is a creature so intelligent that it can overcome its own reproductive urges so it can focus more on its cognitive interests. Philosophy, architecture and the stars fascinate them so much that even though their longevity exceeds turtles, their population went into decline due to lack of breeding. Eventually there were too few left to openly rule over humanity, and we took the chance to build our own history from what we could reclaim. Some might still influence events from the shadows, and others have likely left Earth in order to build a new world elsewhere. If you look around society today, you can still recognize faded replications of the superb owls’ original dominion. Architecture that we would never afford to build in the modern day, fringe philosophy ideas that most people can’t grasp, even a few sports that are the much less dangerous than when they were originally used to appease our uncaring overlords.”

The man in the suit is in his fifties, clearly having access to some absurd amount of wealth from the quality of his accessories and the way he carries himself. He sighes after hearing the clerk’s story. “That doesn’t answer my question. Do you have a superb owl for sale?” He is visibly becoming more annoyed. “This is THE pet shop, if the creature exists then you sell it, right?”

“That’s not how it works. Superb owls have a sentience that exceeds our own, which indisputably makes that slavery. And even if it wasn’t, the few that remain are so cunning and dangerous that trying to reign one in as a 'pet’ is suicide.”

Unphased, the man gestures to the door to the backroom of the shop, where through the window a part of a massive, feathered creature could be seen rooting through a box of supplies. “But you have a superb owl right there! I can pay any amount for it, and pay off any government officials that might try to give you trouble over this transaction as well.”

The clerk glances over at the superb owl, sighing as she turns back. “Sorry, but I can’t sell you my boss.”

(Originally written 2/7/2016)