> Hey!
I cringe and try to keep my discomfort from outwardly showing.
> Wait, turn around and read that sign!
I don't want to look at that sign, but my muscles immediately cramp as they receive conflicting motor signals. I give in and turn. It's an advertisement for an artisanal cheese shop with an forgettable logo and a tacky joke for their tagline. I hear a faint chuckling within my head anyway.
> Do you eat cheese? Maybe we should go to this shop and see if they sell a variety platter.
"No." I growl. I try my best to make my voice low enough that the other pedestrians can't hear, but a few still give me odd looks and hurry along a little bit faster. I have to strain my eyes to keep my unwelcome guest from making me inappropriately stare at these strangers.
> Come on. They appreciate the attention! It's not creepy if you're doing it appreciatively.
A shudder runs through me. This wasn't supposed to be part of the arrangement. The government program detailed that the coma patient wouldn't have enough control to interfere with my life, but this creep managed to change my phone's password while I was distracted and now I can't sever the link until I walk back to the government station. I notice a comic shop in my peripheral vision and almost immediately I trip over as an external source tries to pilot me in that direction.
> Can we stop in there and browse? I need to catch up on the latest Batman issue. Oh, are you lactose intolerant? I am, so I can't eat ice cream normally. We should eat a full pint of ice cream so I can remember what it tastes like.
Catching myself and checking to make sure I'm not hurt, I take a slow breath and whisper into the storm drain. "I swear to god. After dealing with you I would rather be broke then have to put up with being a temporary life surrogate ever again. If you keep trying to fuck up my day I will force my way to the hospital and sever the signal from your end."
> Chill out! I didn't mean to hurt you! Let's just stop for ice cream on the way there and no more problems, ok?
I nod my head in defeated agreement, and pick myself up from the sidewalk.
The truce collapses after five minutes, and two blocks away from the government station I concuss myself into unconsciousness to end the torment.
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