Saturday, February 29, 2020

Invisible Networks #29: The 10,000 Year Network

A first post, an in-joke from the development team.

"Yep, this system is definitely some blue nachos. Could you imagine if we just blew it on the first post on humankind's most important social media network?"

The four-hundred trillionth post, commemorating true world peace and dissolution of borders.

"To commemorate the founding of the Overworld government, the Stonebound network staff has pulled the strings needed to add blue nachos as a unicode emoji. No, we still won't explain what it means."

A post easier to measure in time than placement in the archive, five hundred years later.

"The Stonebound team is proud to be cited in our first diplomacy with alien intelligent life, as the Ivrali complimented our network as the key to how humankind has maintained unity in presenting itself in galactic diplomatic talks."

A post a mere thirty-five years later, in order to continue what Stonebound is known best for.

"Greetings, f̶̛̱͍͜é̶͍͖̲̊̐͝l̷̟̟͌́͝l̸̨̟͂̔͌͠o̵̪̪͊̇͆͝w̸̗͚̳̞̕e̴̮̙̐͒́̕ͅr̶̟̕ṡ̴̞͑̕! If you couldn't read that word, then that means your device hasn't yet been upgraded with galactic glyph support yet, which is a free update available to all Stonebound-compatible platforms. Stonebound now supports more than human language so that we don't leave anyone out!"

Two thousand years later, a post announcing a tragedy.

"The Stonebound team expresses their sorrow at the tragic news of the Bwirlik planetary mind core losing its battle against the hive mind degeneration disease. We will be donating twenty percent of this month's profits to efforts to support and rehabilitate the now scared and confused Bwirlik as they share in our plight of being unable to truly connect to each other as they once could."

Three hundred years later, a network reappropriated.

"The Stonebound team would like to assure our users that the untranslatable strings of text posted by most Bwirlik accounts are nothing sinister, but simply an important cultural coping mechanism for the grief of being part of the first generation of their kind to never know the gentle parenthood of their mind core. To insist that this is a secret language they never made the galactic council aware of will be considered a violation of our terms of service for hate speech."

Two years later, a business deal signed.

"The Stonebound team is proud to announce that the Bwirlik government has won the bid for maintenance rights for our platform. With this, they will be able to prototype an artificial mind core using Stonebound's infrastructure paired with their own neural connection implants, bringing them back to their glory and curing the chronic depression that has so recently crippled their species."

One hundred years later, a plan advanced.

"In the interest of maintaining peace and preventing future galactic wars before they even become hostilities, the galactic council has authorized mandatory citizen connections to the Stonebound mind core, regardless of species. The process will be funded by the galactic council and administered in a quick, painless and convenient manner."

Seven thousand years later, a monoculture remains unmoved.

"We are all Stonebound. We are peace and perfection itself. :blue nachos:"

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