Thursday, February 6, 2020

Invisible Networks #6: FTL Chatting

MeloniaHorizons: hey, hon! are you getting this signal?
Exogothica: Yeah! Enjoying your cryosleep break in the vast black emptiness?
MeloniaHorizons: lol I wish
MeloniaHorizons: dumbass ship thinks I'll get the space madness if I look out the window for more than five minutes
MeloniaHorizons: it's fuckin beautiful starscapes and the blank space to ponder the nature of the universe
Exogothica: Blank enough to drive you to transform into Sam Neill, strip naked and commune with the orb of space satan?
Exogothica: Not necessarily in that order, mind you.
MeloniaHorizons: nah, that's what the psych evals are for
MeloniaHorizons: I'm only allowed in space because they think I'm a fuckin square
MeloniaHorizons: so how's earth where you're already cleared to not get planet madness?
Exogothica: Boring earth stuff.
Exogothica: The job is still going well, if not necessarily going.
Exogothica: Might not get promoted until my boss dies in a telomere therapy mishap.
MeloniaHorizons: so long as you don't divorce me and elope with your assistant while I'm gone, go wild
MeloniaHorizons: shake things up
MeloniaHorizons: think of the possibilities
MeloniaHorizons: stack incoming paperwork in aesthetically-pleasing patterns
MeloniaHorizons: take up office feng shui
Exogothica: Why
MeloniaHorizons: CASUAL THURSDAYS
MeloniaHorizons: that's the one that'll raise corporate anarchy
Exogothica: What if we break the water cooler during the rioting?
Exogothica: I might not survive the sudden crisis of resources.
MeloniaHorizons: you're a smart woman! I'm sure you can figure out how to separate the water from the booze in the general manager's secret cupboard
Exogothica: The suits don't have secret cupboards.
Exogothica: They just keep their booze in one of the normal cupboards.
~SPACIAL CHAT SYSTEM MESSAGE: Gravitational Tide Interference Detected, Failed Responses Will Be Replaced With Predictive Text~
MeloniaHorizons: what
Exogothica: I'm surprised they still use this system.
MeloniaHorizons: well you know how it is
MeloniaHorizons: secret government weather machines can't influence gravity wells
MeloniaHorizons: so how do we know when our text goes through and when spacebot needs to impersonate us
Exogothica: Probably an asterisk somewhere in the message.
MeloniaHorizons*: Like this?*
MeloniaHorizons: like this?*
Exogothica: Alright, that's creepy. Though spacebotMel has better typing.
Exogothica*: But at least this is convenient.
MeloniaHorizons: yeah I agree it's creepy AF
MeloniaHorizons: but only if it's you
MeloniaHorizons: high-five, spacebotMel!
MeloniaHorizons*: *high-fives*
Exogothica: Alright, that's a bit too disturbing.
Exogothica: Did it do that because you were intending to write the response anyway?
MeloniaHorizons: we'll never know
MeloniaHorizons: well, gotta go do my job now, make sure ship doesn't spontaneously combust in all this flammable vacuum
MeloniaHorizons: anything else before I sign off?
Exogothica: Well . . .
MeloniaHorizons: well?
Exogothica*: I've been having an affair with Alex, in my marketing department.
MeloniaHorizons: . . .
MeloniaHorizons: spacebot, wth?
Exogothica*: The divorce papers are in an e-mail draft on my smartpad, but every time I open it up I get too scared to break the truth to you.
Exogothica: No! I don't know what's up with this fill script.
Exogothica: But I'm not cheating on you!
Exogothica*: I just convince myself it's a side thing that will stop once you get back.
MeloniaHorizons: I
MeloniaHorizons: Divorce papers?
MeloniaHorizons*: I thought you were ok with the time apart my job forces
Exogothica: I am! I don't know how to put it.
Exogothica*: I feel neglected when you leave. Put on a shelf to be prized by someone who spends so much time out of reach.
Exogothica: SPACEBOT SHUT THE FUCK UP
Exogothica: Ok, I've been seeing Alex to try to deal with my loneliness.
Exogothica: I've had low moments where it feels like a divorce is the shake up to my life I need to get out of this malaise.
MeloniaHorizons*: no!
MeloniaHorizons*: fuck you! you think you're the only one strained by this relationship?
MeloniaHorizons: SPACEBOT PLEASE
MeloniaHorizons*: I just have my own troubles with isolation when I'm out here! the mandatory counseling helps but I do wish I could enjoy this job with a spouse who actually cares!
MeloniaHorizons: I promise I'd word that better!
MeloniaHorizons: Please don't listen to it.
Exogothica: I . . .
Exogothica: Do we just divorce now?
MeloniaHorizons: no no plz
MeloniaHorizons*: spacebot is a shitty marriage counselor
MeloniaHorizons: um, yes but wth?
MeloniaHorizons: please let's just talk about this when I get back
MeloniaHorizons*: I'll take enough time off for us to sort things out
MeloniaHorizons: what spacebot said
Exogothica: But what if this conversation poisons our feelings as time passes.
MeloniaHorizons: nah
MeloniaHorizons: if you gotta fuck Alex to cope with my lack of communication and presence then fair
MeloniaHorizons: I shouldn't give you shit for that
MeloniaHorizons: but just give our relationship the chance to mend before throwing that wedding ring into Mordor
MeloniaHorizons: plz
Exogothica: mel
Exogothica: im sorry
Exogothica: i held back these feeligns, and didnt want sapcebot to be the one to say them
Exogothica: we shuold talk when you get bakc
MeloniaHorizons: it's alright
MeloniaHorizons: you can collect yourself enough to recover your spelling
MeloniaHorizons: maybe thanks to spacebot for saying this stuff on our behalf but against our will
MeloniaHorizons: but also seriously
MeloniaHorizons: fuck spacebot
MeloniaHorizons: maybe this is how other spacefarer breakups happened
Exogothica: Fucked up if true.
MeloniaHorizons: yeah
MeloniaHorizons: ok I actually need to log off
MeloniaHorizons: I love you, even through my low moments
Exogothica: Same, mel.
Exogothica: Talk again during your next wakeup?
MeloniaHorizons: YES
MeloniaHorizons: k boss is yelling at me bye

No comments:

Post a Comment